Goodbye, boy Madan.. Welcome the man, Madan..

last post of the year. i was a boy. now i'm a man. i've gone through so much this yr. so much experience worth more than just one yr.

interacted with social groups i nvr really had a chance to interact with thus far. the less fortunate.. in terms of education, financial and emotional wealth. and there are the more than fortunate.. with their betting, drinking, smoking, shopping, going out, clubbing. i duno where i belong any more. i would rather it be the former and not the latter.

trainingwise, i maintained myself throughout the year till nearing the end. about now. my will to go on is no longer there. i feel like giving up. i'm deproving by the training session. i feel as if there is no point in training any longer. i'm never gonna be up there again. give it up to my father again for how i feel.

i'll tell u wat i've realised this yr. i chase after friends on the other side, wen i am surrounded by so many other friends.
i've realised there are more than 2 sides to my father's face. i've realised i dun want to hav anything to do with any of them.
i've realised i dun hav wat it takes to chase after girls. maybe it's not tt i dun hav wat it takes. maybe i dun want to. dun want to face the possibility of rejection. rejection is not something easy for anyone to accept. i've given up on tt half of my species. i'll just wait for the day wen the world turns upside down and they chase after me.

but overall, it has still been a good year. i've realised who my friends are. i hope they'll still see me as a friend next yr and nothing will change. friendship plays a vital role in my life. the love i hav for my friends is wat has kept me going wen i'm down. just plain old love doesn't any more.
i've realised wat i hav to do with my life. now to figure out how to go abt doing it..